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Forged Artifacts

Yucca Street

by Alexei Shishkin

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1.
Yucca Street 02:29
Haven't made a meaningful connection in years. Everyone always disappears... or is it me? I don't know. I don't think. All I know is that it keeps happening. And I walked down that Yucca Street with bills in my hand, thinking of the demands, and looking at the concrete. I don't know. I don't think. All I know is that the clouds are a ceiling.
2.
Confidence 03:06
Confidence comes in dozens, leaves you in bunches. Leaves you with somebody else. It can be so hard to judge if I don't have enough or if I have too much. It's such a fine line, and every single time, she's leaving, and I'm barely believing in myself. I need her, but she needs somebody else. Does staying in love mean staying in touch? Yeah. I think it does. I think too much.
3.
Freezing 02:58
I don't understand why anyone would stay. And I don't want to wait around another day. And I can't take too much of the sunlight cause it burns my skin. And honest to god, I think I'll vomit, pass out, and wake up again. And you say, “Go away.” Baby, you're so goddamn cool, I just wanna drown.
4.
Town 02:46
Five o'clock, and the sun is down, and I won't stop thinking about this town, and how I don't want to leave right now. Will you stay with me? Maybe. Two o'clock, and the sun's still down, and I can't stop thinking about you now, and how I didn't want to leave right now. Will you stay with me? Maybe. Five o'clock, and the sun is down, and I won't stop thinking about this town, and how this place is shifting so rapidly. I need relief – a place to hold onto. And a pistol grip won't even slip. It won't cause a damn thing to fall off. And I'll walk slowly.
5.
Carpal 02:52
I guess I'm lucky to get to experience things like this, Even if they're amiss sometimes. That's fine. That's fine with me – I've still got all of the room I need to breathe. And it may not be much to you, but it'll do for me. For now, at least.
6.
Time To Go 02:50
7.
Affective 02:53
Face to face. Back to back. Walk away. Oh, what a way to overreact on my behalf. And I can't say that I'm done trying my hand at this one. I often think back, and I don't understand why you would call me that. You can say what you will. I don't mind. I'm standing still, and I'm still standing. Used as a crutch, a broken beam. It burst at once. It split at the seam. A broken record, stuck on repeat: you and me.
8.
Stuck 03:00
Hello, Golden State. I can see you from a million miles away. I can see the beads of sweat glistening on your forehead, waiting for me. Envious, I guess. And I miss you sometimes. I get over it. And I was stuck on you again. Hello, Sunshine State. I can see you from a million miles away. I can see the endless drives – nothing around me for miles, into the trees. Hello, Empire State. I can see you crashing underneath the waves. And I don't ever want to know your name.
9.
The fire escape was made of velvet rope. I grabbed a hold, and I let myself go. Did I stutter when I talked? Did I stutter when I spoke? And I understand not returning any phone calls. I would do the same as you if I was in your shoes, But that doesn't help me wondering, Why was I a disposable thing?
10.
Distant Tone 03:00
A road block. A slow walk. Turned off. A bad thought. I lost sight. Was I boring her? It's all right. I'm a boring person. I guess I lost her with my distant tone.
11.
Rebecca 03:26
I watched the sun, and my veins they did creep. I could not find anything that was deep as the blood. So unsteady. I wasn't ready to go.

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released February 19, 2016

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Alexei Shishkin New York

omg is that u singing?

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